Don't carb my protein, bro
A hot take on the Texas sandwich as presented by a Texan
Texas has had a rough week. My family is in Texas. My friends are in Texas. My childhood history is in Texas. Most of my adulthood is in Texas. I’ve had six different addresses in Texas. My first job was in Texas. I met Nate in Texas. I adopted my pets in Texas. My wedding was in Texas. So while I’m not physically in Texas, my heart is and always will be connected to Texas.
So it feels like a bizarre coincidence that the week Texas is doing its best impersonation of 18th century Siberia without the amenities, we’re here in California attempting to celebrate the state in sandwich form.
What’s worse, is I don’t think that this week’s sandwich is a sandwich to be celebrated.
HOLD ON, TEXANS, ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN.
First of all, let me say that Texas is home to some of the indisputably greatest things this country has to offer. Like breakfast tacos, the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema, bluebonnets in the spring, the San Antonio Spurs, Pops the head coach from the San Antonio Spurs, queso, Whataburger, the River Walk, NASA, ACL, SXSW, AFF, and of course, barbecue, just to name a few.
So on the one hand, it made sense that the list offered up a smoked brisket sandwich to represent Texas. I wasn’t mad about it. I mean, yes, I completely scoffed at the suggestion that the sandwich should be topped with pickled onions and mayo and be served on a brioche bun. I’m not sure what fancy-pants bbq place would do that to a sandwich ( I mean, mayo????), so whoever made this list is clearly not a Texan. But still, brisket on white bread felt in the spirit of Texas barbecue.
You don’t even have to be from Texas to know that barbecue go together like Willie Nelson and pigtails. And if you are from Texas, you get it. I’ve waited in a six-hour line at Franklin’s BBQ and have more than once eaten my weight in meat at Rudy’s after tubing down the Guadalupe. So I was honestly excited to get some profesh smoked brisket, pile it high on wonder bread, throw on some Stubb’s barbecue sauce, and then write a love letter about my home say something about how everything is bigger in Texas, even their brisket sandwiches and superiority over all other sandwiches that have existed ever since the beginning of time.
But alas, there were a few problems with that thought process.
First, you can’t get authentic Texas barbecue in California. You can get barbecue, but not Texas barbecue. You can get brisket but not Texas smoked brisket. We got ours from place called Holy Cow. To their credit it was delicious, but it’s not Texas brisket.
Secondly, I feel like for a sandwich to be a truly great sandwich, all of the ingredients need to work together to elevate each other. Everything from the bread to the fillings to the toppings to the condiments needs to be like a finely-tuned Texas highschool football team — they need to stand united. The brisket sandwich felt like it was merely checking off the list of items required to make a sandwich — bread? check. Meat? Check. Condiment? Check. Toppings? Ehh…sorta, but sure, check. But just because a team is on the field doesn’t mean they’ve got what it takes to win.
Finally, and this may be the hottest of hot takes, I don’t think Texas barbecue is meant to be eaten in sandwich form. I believe the term “meat sweats” was first coined by a person who went to a barbecue pit and didn’t understand that just because they made enough for everyone to eat a whole cow doesn’t mean they actually had to eat a whole cow. Texas barbecue is literally a celebration of meat with a few saucy vegetable-adjacent sides thrown in to add a little color to your plate. Two slices of bread are in no way the appropriate vessel to get that meat into your belly. In fact, I’d argue that last thing you need when eating barbecue is extra carbs taking up precious room in your belly. The plain white bread is merely there to sop up the extra sauce.
All in all, not the best week for Texas — in actuality or in sandwich form.
This isn’t to say that Texas doesn’t have delicious sandwiches. They absolutely do. If you’re in East Austin anytime soon, hit up Gourmand’s for some of my favorites. I just think that if you had to encapsulate Texas in sandwich form, this isn’t necessarily it. It gets to the “barbecue” of things, but Texas can — and does — sandwich better.
But 100% go eat some of their barbecue. Just enjoy the white bread on the side.
Need to come at me? Hoo boy. Go for it.
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A great write up y'all!